I know that it's going to sound like I had a big glass of "Hater-ade" but I really don't know how else to approach this. I guess there's a side of me that wants to just walk away from this movie and not speak of it. Kind of like that ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend in your past with whom you have a developed a mental block; you just don't think about it and try to forget. But I can't do this. I just can't.
I work with students and I love it. I love their imperfections, their innocence, the good and the bad. One thing that students generally do is LOVE whatever movies they've seen recently. If I asked a group of young people between the ages of 12-14 what their favorite movies, I guarantee you 1/3 of them will name a movie that has been in theaters in the last 4 months. It's in their nature. The last few days I've been shocked... SHOCKED at how many of them updated their statuses of Facebook with a statement like this: "Lovely Bones, OMG so so good!"
This movie is garbage. I am going to ruin the plot, so be warned. It starts off decent; it looks good as far as cinematography, the characters have a nice family dynamic, it was going good. Then via the overused narration the girl makes it clear that she's going to die. Eventually there is no mystery, none whatsoever. You know who done it. So apparently this is a movie about watching a family go through grief. Well there isn't really time for that to be developed because every few minutes we have to devote time to watching this girl walk around a bunch of hippy paintings; Giant waterfalls, sun and moon, water becoming land. THEN you try and get back into watching this family mourn. Rather than a "who done it" story, it's a "will the bad guy get caught" story. Okay, so we go back and forth between these 3 elements;
1- boo hoo, family is sad.
2- yippee, the little girl is walking in a cosmic park with her new asian friend.
3- is the family going to solve the mystery?
(repeat)
Okay, so the family hurting issue just wraps itself up after time, no rhyme or reason, just time. THEN the Sister figures out the murderer, and tells the family the answer after a few minutes of greeting her returning mom. Those few minutes were crucial because it meant the bad guy got away. LET ME REPEAT THAT... The Bad Guy got away. The movie is called Lovely Bones and they never even find the bones. They are minutes from finding them, one psychic character is watching the bones being disposed and all she does is channel the victim girl so she can resolve a 2 week school crush of a 14 year old!
AHHHHHH.... I was sitting in the theater RIDICULOUSLY frustrated. Then, the final scene of the movie, the murderer is talking with a young girl at a roadside diner. There is an "oh no, not again" feeling for the audience. The girl blows the guy off and walks away. THEN, here's the kicker... the camera moves up and shows an icicle. I sigh as I think, "Oh great, the guy is going to die by nature. The 'universe' is going to get revenge." Sure enough the icicle falls and as it hits the guys shoulder and shatters, showing it was small and not deadly. The guy brushes his shoulder, saying ouch, and then stumbles a little backward. OOPS... he's standing on the edge of the quarry. Dude falls down and dies. And the credits roll. SERIOUSLY!!! Seriously, this is ridiculous. I am not a personal fan of the 'universe' getting random justice, I would have been happier if the icicle impaled the guy. Call me a violent stereotypical guy, that's fine but COME ON!
This movie was boring the whole way through, but the end was horrific. SO... why did I spend a blog to vent?
1. Because I have taken hold of the false belief that because I have a blog I can be uber-critical and it matters.
2. To redeem the money I wasted on this film so that at least I got a blog out of the time and money wasted.
3. To warn friends to avoid this movie by giving my opinion and ruining the ridiculous plot.
Be warned friends, be warned.
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