My Movie Theatre Fascism

Just look at that lobby, so pretty.



Over the last year, I realize that I have become a crabby old man. I prefer to surround myself with people that have a certain decorum. Now don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with people that lack social skills. I worked with High School Students for 10 years, I volunteer with some pretty eccentric homeless people on a regular basis, and most of all I spend time with improvisers on a weekly basis. But there is something about dealing with crowds that can just get under my skin.

I wonder if it is genetic. My Papa (Dad’s dad) is probably the epitome of the old man that doesn’t like crowd. Don’t get me wrong, he is a good guy with a great heart but if he isn’t happy with his surroundings, he’s out. The guy walked out of my plays multiple times growing up. I use to think it was rude until I realized that when it comes to movie theaters, I am becoming my Papa.

A few weeks ago I was talking with my friend Eddie and I mentioned that I generally only see movies at The Arclight in Hollywood. I was expecting for Eddie to jump on board with my love for the Arclight, but I was surprised when he said he hated that place. How could this be? Not only did Eddie strike me as a movie buff he is a pretty picky guy who gets frustrated easily. Eddie said that the Arclight is a movie theater that operates under fascism. Initially I was offended, that term brings up my defenses. Not just because of it makes me think I am in cahoots with Mussolini, but that term was used all too often working with High School Students. “Hey, you can’t be smoking pot with your friends here at the church.” “YOU’RE A FASCIST!” While it was laughable, it still is not the nicest thing to be called.

I began to think of why Eddie didn’t like the Arclight. I realized that while being easily annoyed was a part of Eddie’s personality, he values social equality and doesn’t like the idea of creating an environment that caters to the elite. I began to appreciate Eddie’s values, I began to examine my heart and think about whether or not I needed to change my ways. Then it hit me, Eddie just doesn’t want to spend the extra two dollars. Now, I value the dollar. Being unemployed for a season and now being a full-time student have renewed my value for the dollar. Working with orphans in Africa also impacts my perspective. Still I have to be honest, I want to spend the extra two dollars on the Arclight Experience. I know it is selfish, I know it is silly, but it is what I want. I have become a crabby old man.

I hate the crowds at theaters. I think that this generation has grown up with home theater and therefore has no theater decorum. They don’t know how to shut up. They don’t understand that their phones screen is a distraction. I hate waiting in line and trying to find seats. I hate getting to a theater early just so we can all sit together. The theaters don’t maintain their facilities so it becomes this run down barn where they move cattle…errr ticket holders…in and out, just milking their $10 with no respect for their dignity. With such clear disdain for the average movie theater and a true love for film, we have ourselves a bit of a problem.

That’s where the Arclight comes in. This theatre has a huge parking structure adjacent to the complex. After parking your car, you make your way through the courtyard and into the Arclight lobby. It is a very clean and modern lobby with a café (good food) bar (small but some screenings are 21 and over which means you can take your beverage into the theater) and gift shop (fun stuff to look at, old Hollywood books that are overpriced but fun). The thing that dominates your view in the lobby is what they call their departure board. It is a giant set of signs that indicate when movies are playing and the status. This is important. Similar to FAA regulations, Arclight will not allow you to board once the film has started. They will not let you get your tickets. This is not a loosely enforced policy.

One time, I was meeting some friends there and they had purchased my tickets and left them at guest relations. I got their late and the person at the counter saw that my tickets were for a show that had already 5 minutes before I arrived at the counter. They would not give me my tickets. Right behind me was Casey Affleck. Now I bring up Mr. Affleck not to tell a cool Hollywood story about bumping into an academy award nominee. I bring this up because he was in the exact same predicament. His girlfriend was dealing with the employee who wouldn’t budge. Eventually a manager was called over and the manager would not budge. Casey put his hand on his shoulder and said “come on man”, they wouldn’t budge. Eventually Casey gave up, when the manager offered tickets to another show Affleck said he didn’t want them. As the manager started to process a refund, I leaned over to Affleck and said “hey man, I’m in the same spot. I’m gonna get tickets to another show and just sneak in.” “Good idea, thanks man.” I then snuck into the theater and shared an armrest with an actor from one of my favorite movies.

Back to the Arclight, it is a “black-box” auditorium, which means there is not lame mural, or silly lights on the walls to distract you. The screen is set back far enough that if it fell, it wouldn’t hit the first row of seats. That’s important. Not because screens are known to fall, but because it makes every seat a good one. So you have your reserved seat which is extra wide (3 inches), there is extra leg room (6 inches), with extra wide arm rests so you don’t have to battle your neighbor. It’s 1st class. An usher introduces the movie, and stays in the room to “ensure picture and sound are up to Arclight standards.”

I know this is starting to sound like a commercial, but I have to share why I like it. It’s not just a fancy LA thing, its really a great experience. I think you will rediscover why you like the movie going experience if you give the Arclight a visit. While it may be considered fascism by some, I still choose to pay extra for a great experience. That is what crabby old men do.