“What Happens in Vegas” is not anywhere near as exciting as Vegas.

Your movie loses credibility by taking it’s name from an advertising campaign. After seeing this picture, you gained some credibility back because it appears Cameron Diaz could beat the crap out of me.



We silently stare at the digital sign in front of the theater perusing the list of movies. I was happy with the options we had. It’s not the middle of March, so there are a lot of things that I’d want to see. Heck there are some movies that I’d be willing to see for a second time (Iron Man.) I don’t want to force my opinions, and I want to be a gentleman. So I break the silence, “Anything jump out at you as a must see?” “No, nothing I MUST see.” Silence again. After a few seconds I go with the age-old tactic of naming options. It makes the other person feel like I contributed to the decision making process while the actual responsibility for the choice lies with them.

As I name off the movies on the list, I say “No desire” “I’d see that” or “Looks great”. After naming 4-5 movies in the “I’d see that” or “Looks great” categories I get to the bottom of the list; “What happens in Vegas” I give this one a tentative “I’d see that”. I even gave it an “ehhhhhhhh” before I put it in the maybe category to verbalize my hesitation. Normally I’d say “No Desire” but I wanted to give her plenty of options. She then speaks up and says with enthusiasm “Oh, let’s see that!”

This is my fault, I did this to myself. Sitting in the theater I began to question her judgment. As the movie starts I brace myself for the worst. What I ended up getting was ok. It wasn’t great but it wasn’t horrible. It was kind of like eating McDonalds. It’s not bad, but it’s not the best either. It was a C; just average. Unfortunately, some of the laughs were ruined by the all too revealing previews. It was the most tolerable I’ve found Ashton Kutcher to be since his role in “That 70’s Show.” In my opinion Rob Corddry stole the show, I am pretty sure without him the movie would have been a complete failure.

So, my recommendation is to speak honestly about whether or not you want to see this or any movie for that matter. But if you get swindled, bribed or bamboozled into a theater playing this movie, take heart because it isn’t that bad. It isn’t, run out and see it good, but it isn’t bad either. When it comes to box office, it’s better than Speed Racer two weeks in a row, but then again Speed Racer is not average… it’s HORRIBLE! And I wanted to go see Speed Racer that night, so clearly my judgment is suspect, not hers.

Speed Racer runs out of Gas

The best performance in this film was given by this monkey.
Sad, I know. But still, props to the Monkey.


If I read anymore my head is going to explode. It is Wednesday and I it is my 3rd day in a marathon of studying that involves 17 hour days in a library reading texts that are thousands of years old. I am burned out, and I need a break. I’ve wanted to see Speed Racer since I first heard that the makers of the Matrix were at the helm of this summers potential blockbuster. It would be great to let a fun story and a visually stunning effects wash over me and allow me to relax.

This movie accomplished something great, but did not meet my expectations. The great thing it did was made me think about how it was more interesting to read old books rather than endure this boring movie. Horrible, just horrible; I am convinced that the Wackowski brothers happen to strike gold with the original Matrix film and overall are not good filmmakers. They can oversee great visual effects but can’t tell a basic story. I think there was too much focus on the look of this movie that we forgot the Pixar Principle; Story, Story, STORY!!!

The racing sequences were stylized and interesting to watch, but that doesn’t make up for the other 2 hours or dribble. When I come off a film like Iron Man, I expect more. I don’t think it was casting, because I liked everyone in their respective roles. It was bad script and bad direction. My recommendation is to skip it in the theaters and only Netflix the film if you really must.

Summer 08!

Indy is a great way to say, Summer is officially here.



I made the weekly trip to my post office box last week. It is only a weekly trip for one reason, Entertainment Weekly. I do love this little magazine and a friend had mentioned that this week’s edition was extra special. Yes, it was time for the annual, double issue known as the summer preview. Could this be true? I am not done with school, I am not wearing sandals, I haven’t had a popsicle. All of that indicates to me that it isn’t summer yet! But Hollywood is continually expanding the amount of time in the season and this year, it starts in early May with Iron man. I usually flip through Entertainment Weekly to read anything that grabs my attention. This week was special and I ended up spending a half hour reading on the couch.

I hear rumors and maybe see trailers for months in advance, but it isn’t until I read about it in Entertainment Weekly that I really fall in love and commit to the movies of the summer. I love this season, because I end up seeing about a movie a week and all of them are usually the best of the best. This year was no exception and while there aren’t as many “sure things” when it comes to potential blockbuster films there are many that grabbed my attention. Here are the movies that I will see FOR SURE!

Speed Racer
This just looks yummy. While the directors brought us The Matrix which was great, they also brought us Matrix 2 & 3. I really look forward to seeing how this visually stunning movie turns out.
Prince Caspian
While the first film wasn’t the best, it was good. I love these books and Prince Caspian is one of my favorites. The previews seem very “300” esque, and I could listen to Aslan roar all day long.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
I thought Last Crusade was a great way to go out. I really hope this movie doesn’t overdo the Leathal Weapon 3, “I’m too old for this” theme. But even if that hope isn’t met, this is one film I plan on seeing at midnight.
The Happening
The preview I saw was gripping. It has a better buzz then “Lady in the Water.” Sure M. Night has let me down lately, but the previews along made me pee a little.
Wall-E
I trust Pixar, and this looks great! I loved Short Circuit and Wall-E looks just like Johnny 5. Plus it’s a love story, I love love love it!
Hancock
This looks like fun to me. Will Smith looks like the perfect anti-hero and Jason Bateman had 2 moments in the trailer. Hopefully it has a good story to weave in the jokes and effects.
Dark Knight
Absolutely LOVED Batman Begins, loved it. And I appreciate that Christopher Nolan is going right at the old franchise and showing a new take on te Joker. It will surprised if this isn’t in my Top 3 of the summer.
Step Brothers
This movie with Will Ferrel and John C. Riley looks cheesy and simple, but I like it. I liked their chemistry in Talladega Nights I’d love to get some simple giggles from them again.


Did I miss anything? Let me know what you saw on The EW List that you think should be included in my list.