This little british fellow contributed the horribleness.Most of the time I try and make my titles clever and coy, but I had to go completely blunt in this case. I am not a fan of most award shows. Besides the Oscars (which, to quote my friend Emily “is my superbowl”), I find them boring and uneventful. I usually save myself the time and just look up the list of winners online. There was something intriguing about the Video Music Awards this year. I was talking with some friends out in front of the theater the other night and commented that the VMAs were in Los Angeles this year. I was wondering what arena they would be held in, and a friend said “down the street on the Paramount Lot.”
I thought that was interesting and did some research online, turns out they’d be doing the show “all over the famous Paramount Studios Lot”, taking on a Hollywood theme. It sounded kind of cool and while I wasn’t usually tuning into these things, I’d throw this one on the TiVo. Well, I now feel the need to apologize to my TiVo for subjecting it to this horrible few hours of television.
When they showed the main room, it felt like an awkward gymnasium with people in folding chairs and bleachers in the back. There was no warmth to the room and the people were not impressed. The host, Russell Brand came out and absolutely bombed the opener. He is a former VJ for the UK MTV who gained some popularity after his role in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”. I later found out he became infamous when he showed up to work as the host of the British TRL on September 12th, 2001 dressed as Osama Bin Laden. MTV fired him for his lack of judgment. Apparently they felt he had learned his lesson and was a great fit as the host of their largest annual event. Now I am willing to forgive people for their mistakes, but it will take a LONG time to forgive him for his horrible performance. It was not just a bad job, it was horrible.
Jamie Foxx was one of the first presenters and came out with energy and tried to pump up the room. Whatever energy he built up, the host quickly deflated. Brand kept returning to a set of “Jonas Brothers are virgins” jokes. It was kind of funny the first time but not something you want to hear 100 times, no matter what your views are on teen promiscuity. And the host was leading into nothing of value. The performances were trying harder to be different than they were good. The acceptance speeches had the same “who cares” sentiment that I have when I get a notice on Facebook that the “compare my friends” application has determined I am the most “tech savy”. Britney Spears had a stump speech and simply repeated it, as if her manager had given her strict guidelines while sitting in the audience with her.
It was like every choice was a poor one. Even the stage was lame and lacked common sense. (Don’t put mirrors on the back wall, we can see the camera crew and the teleprompter.) Pete Wentz from Panic at the Disco came across like a frustrated cheerleader at Valium High School every time he tried to pump up the crowd while re-explaining how to text our votes. The room felt dead, the songs felt fake, I just couldn’t finish the show and angrily deleted the show. The only thing that was slightly redeeming was the DJ AM and Travis Barker House Band routine. It was great to see a drummer jam with a DJ, very cool sound and just in line with some of the mash-ups that I’ve been listening to lately. Still, not worth watching an entire show for those 45-second lead-ins after a commercial break.
The theme and prospect of something fresh and new got me to tune in this year. What was delivered was a misfire on every level. It’s going to take something big to bring me back to the VMA’s, because this years show was downright HORRIBLE.
